Essentially Murder Academy
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Your name is Jane Crocker and you think that there is something strange about this school. [school life of mutual killing au] [alpha kids/dancestor trolls] [multichapter]
1. Chapter 1

Your name is Jane Crocker and you are excited for your first day at Sburb Academy! Your father and you had a small going away party the night before you left, because it is a boarding school with people from all over the country attending! You just got off your plane, and now you're standing in front of the Academy, gripping your suitcase tightly.

You don't see anyone else, and you're not sure if that's a good thing or not. Maybe you're early, or maybe you're late and have missed everything. You seriously hope that it's the former, but you should be able to give your classmates cakes or something as an apology; you are, after all, the Super High School Level Baker.

Smiling a little to yourself, you enter the academy, pausing for a bit at the door to gape at the utter size of the place. It's certainly a far cry from your average-sized home in Washington!

You push open the doors and step inside, glancing around. There's nobody in the entrance… oh dear, you probably are late. You're sure that your letter said one, though, and it's only a quarter after noon…

You glance back, but the door has swung shut behind you with a finalizing _thud _and you're left with your worries.

The next thing that happens is strange. You're in the gym, but you can't quite place when you got there. You turn back, but behind you is an entirely unfamiliar hallway, and in front of you is a fairly decent sized group of people, milling around and talking to one another. Frankly, you're not sure where to start.

A guy sidles up next to you, throwing an arm around your shoulders. He has a cigarette between his lips. You wonder if he's actually eighteen, and if this school is so lax as to let tobacco onto their premises.

"Hey, kitten," he says. "A little nerve-wracking, eh, being the last one here?"

He smells like Axe and leather – surprisingly, there's nothing to suggest that he actually smokes. Either way, you are uncomfortable, and try to wriggle away a little. He appears not to notice or, if he does, he doesn't do anything to make you comfortable.

That is, until a girl who you are fairly certain is drunk – you _swear _it's one and you _swear _she can't be more than sixteen or seventeen – shoves him away and takes his place, though she's more reassuring than anything. "Leave her alone, Cro," she says, words mixing together a little but nothing unintelligible. She looks at you and smiles. "I'm Roxy Lalonde."

**ROXY LALONDE ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL HACKER**

"Jane Crocker," you say, and she nods. "You know him?"

"Sure," she says. "You're late. We already introduced ourselves, but I can take you around and get you acquainted with everyone. Too-much-Axe-and-unlit-cigarette is Cronus Ampora. He says the unlit cigarette is like that because he doesn't like the taste, but I saw a _se-rious_ looking inhaler in his bag."

**CRONUS AMPORA ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL MUSICIAN **

He scowls at her and slinks away. You realize as he goes that he's dressed up in some weird Greaser getup – jeans and a white t-shirt with his hair, far too black to be anything but died, greased up in a pompadour.

"It kind of sucks," Roxy says. "Because, I'd totally tap that, but I don't know if I could trust him. Like, _damn, _that ass."

You giggle, a little nervous. Roxy is a little overwhelming in her own way, but you don't get a bad feeling from her – you favor yourself an amateur detective, and detectives can usually _feel _if people are bad or not – so you think that maybe she'll be a good person to introduce you to everyone, at least.

"Anyway!" she says, readjusting her grip on you. "I'm gonna introduce you to our dear Jakey, who is immensely handsome and everyone who isn't in love with the Weeaboo is in love with him, even though we've been here for about ten minutes."

You try to stutter out a reply, but she just pulls you along before depositing you in front of two guys. One of them is tall, heavily muscled, and a little awkward-looking with what you hope is a fake sword strapped across his back and triangle-shaped sunglasses. The other is a smallish boy with dark skin and slight buck teeth. He's absolutely adorable.

"Hello ladies!" he says brightly.

That has to be Jake.

**JAKE ENGLISH ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL ADVENTUERER **

**DIRK STRIDER ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL SWORDSMAN**

"Jake, this is Jane! Jane, Jake. And the stoic hottie is Dirk," she says professionally. Dirk glances to the side but doesn't speak. Jake's grin widens.

"I'm the Super High School Level Adventurer! Jolly good title, isn't it?" he asks. You just sort of nod, completely tongue-tied. Roxy apparently notices your predicament, because she gives them both a sloppy salute and steers you away.

"Everyone's a little much to take in, aren't they?" she asks. "Only eleven to go!"

Seeing the expression on your face, she laughs.

"Not all of them are this… okay, they are. They _totally _are. We might skip Vantas if we can, though, he might keep ups forever," she says, chattering aimlessly. The two of you have come to a sort of standstill when someone bumps into both of you from behind.

"Move, beach."

You're not quite sure, but you think that whoever just bumped into you used a nautical-themed pun.

That's just really weird. You're not sure why you'd point it out otherwise.

The two of you turn around. It's two girls – the one who spoke is taller and lankier, with toned arms and collarbones aggressively jutting out. She's dark – not quite as dark as Jake English, but much darker than Roxy, who you're fairly certain would glow in the dark. Her hair's long and braided, falling to her waist. Her clothes are almost falling off of her, but you think she sort of meant to do that.

Both of the girls are wearing glasses, but that's where the similarity ends. The girl standing a bit behind the lanky one is shorter and curvier, and about the same color as Roxy. She looks annoyed. Both of them do, to an extent, but she looks more than a bit exasperated.

**MEENAH PEIXES ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL HEIRESS**

**ARANEA SERKET ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL EXPOSITOR **

"Meenah and Aranea," Roxy informs you as she leads you away. "They're both – _par_don my French – bitchy and weird. In their own ways. Meenah's a bit more straightforward with it, but I have a bad feeling about Aranea… ooh! Rufioh!"

The teenager she's waving at is standing uncomfortably between two other high schoolers, one who is shouting in some language to a larger, sweatier one. He gives them an awkward smile and wriggles out of the middle, breathing out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks, doll…" he says. He rubs the back of his head. "Man… those two…"

**RUFIOH NITRAM ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL WEEABOO**

"He's almost as irresistible as our dear Jakey," Roxy says. You wonder how she knows them all so well in such a short amount of time, but you decide not to ask as she tells you about the two who are still fighting over Rufioh. "The one who's speaking what I _think _is Japanese is Damara Megido. I don't know what she's saying –"

"You really don't want to know…" Rufioh says.

"Right, right, and the other one is Horuss Zahhak."

**DAMARA MEGIDO ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GOOD LUCK**

**HORUSS ZAHHAK ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL RENAISSANCE MAN **

Roxy pulls you away from this situation, which you are honestly a bit freaked out by, and over to a larger group. They seem to be in groups of two, though they're all standing by each other like they've decided to be friends, or at least don't like the others in the group.

They're all boy-girl pairs, the two closest to you a pair of a short boy in a red sweater lecturing a girl with numerous tattoos about her revealing clothes. She's just barely tolerating it, it looks like, and the minute he says something she doesn't agree with, she snaps back, rolling out arguments faster than he can get angry about.

**KANKRI VANTAS ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR**

**PORRIM MARYAM ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL CARETAKER**

The next two are communicating through sign language, a short girl with cat ears and a tall, frankly incredibly, incredibly creepy, man in a skeletal bodysuit. Their hands are flying so fast that you don't even know if _they _can understand each other.

**MEULIN LEIJON ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL SHIPPER**

**KURLOZ MAKARA ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL CULT LEADER**

The last group have sat down on the floor and have pulled out the handheld gaming devices. The girl keeps laughing and helping out the boy, who seems to be having a fairly good time as well. This ends as soon as Cronus Ampora comes over, however, and faster than you can process it, the girl kicks his feet out from under him and tells him to 'fuck off.'

**LATULA PYROPE ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL GAME GIRL**

**MITUNA CAPTOR ; SUPER HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL SKATEBOARDER**

"And that's all of them!" Roxy says cheerfully. "Let's go back with Jake and Dirk. They're the least weird out of this whole –"

Before she can finish her sentence, a small green puppet appears. It's suspended from the ceiling by strings, you can see that much, and it pops down at the front of the gym.

There are two sides to the puppet – one with red swirls on the cheeks, one with green.

"Well!" the green side says, and it seems to smile. "Let's get started, shall we?"

* * *

**This has been done so many times, but I really really like the idea of it and I've had a few executions/murders in mind for a while now so.**


	2. Chapter 2

You all freeze, Roxy with her arm still around your neck, Cronus Ampora pausing his search for his cigarette, which had fallen out when Latula had tripped him, and Jake pausing the story he was telling to Dirk.

The puppet flips and you're faced with the red side. "Alright, dumbasses," it says, and you have never felt such malice from a _puppet. _"We're going to –"

Green side again. "Have a lovely time here –"

"Killing each other-"

"At Hope's Peak, where there will be absolutely no killing going on!" the green side finishes, and it struggles to hold on before the red side takes over again.

"Ignore that annoying bitch," it says. "We're going to play a 'game.' You're all going to kill each other. And _then_ you're going to have to be smart enough to fool people into thinking it wasn't you. Or you'll be-"

"Put in detention!" the green side pops up for a brief moment before the red side takes over again.

"Executed," it says plainly.

The green side takes over again, and when it does, it looks rather exasperated. "I'm Calliope. Please ignore my brother, dears, Caliborn is a bit of a downer sometimes. But I'm also afraid that he's right – this plan is already in motion and there is, frankly, nothing I can do to stop it. There are complete rules in your student handbook. Please collect them on your way out."

With that, the puppet pops completely out of view and they're left in the gym, totally stunned. To your surprise, it's Meenah and Dirk who step up to take charge.

"Alright, listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once," Meenah says. "Obvifishly, we need a leader-"

"To get out of here and figure out what asshole put us in here," Dirk says. He steps away from Jake for a moment to stand in front of Meenah. She studies him. He studies her back, and then turns to the rest of them. "Obviously, nobody's going to kill anyone. Nobody's psycho enough to do that, right?"

You notice that he pays special attention to a few people in particular – Kurloz Makara, Latula Pyrope, and, for some reason, Cronus Ampora, who has given up on finding his lost cigarette and instead pulls another one from the pack in the pocket of his leather jack. "Well, yeah," Cronus says, and stretches. "I mean, I can think of _tons _of fun things to do that doesn't include killing."

There's an awkward silence.

"I was talking about sex."

Dirk clears his throat. "Right," he says, slightly pinkish. He glance back at Meenah, who is now just sort of watching him do this and grinning. "Anything to add?"

"Nah," she said. "I wonder if they have a pool."

"Of course they have a pool!" Horuss Zahhak says. "It's the best school, only for the best of us. Why wouldn't they have a pool?"

Mituna Captor speaks for the first time, and it's something so profanity-ridden and screeching that you can't actually understand him.

"'Tuna can't swim," Latula says, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "We'll stick to skateboarding. This gym looks _totally _rad, and I bet the hallways will be _rockin' _to skate in, too."

"Remember to be thinking about how privileged you are to be _able_ to skateboard," Kankri Vantas starts. "There are several people with no legs or very little control of their legs-"

Porrim smacks a hand over his mouth and gives them all a strained smile. "I'll take him to his room," she says. She heads to the table that you're pretty sure wasn't there before and grabs two of the electronic student handbooks. Slowly, everyone else follows. First is Rufioh, who glances around a little nervously before grabbing his. Horuss and Damara are right after him. The gym is slowly emptying, and soon it's just you, Roxy, Dirk, Meenah, and Cronus, who is still sulking.

Dirk heads over to the table and picks up his. He gestures with it, a little jerkily, a little awkwardly. "Right," he says. "So. Uh, find me or Meenah if you guys are having trouble with anything."

Meenah cackles. "I ain't promisin' nothing." Then she leaves, too."

"That boy is _prime _boyfriend material," Roxy says. You glance at her.

"Dirk?"

"Who _else_? I sure ain't talking about Ampora."

Ampora, who is checking his hair in a compact mirror, scowls. "I'm definitely prime boyfriend material," he says. He looks you over again, and you feel more than a little self-conscious. Then his gaze is back to Roxy. "Too bad you can't see it, kitten, because I would _definitely _sleep with you."

With that, he leaves. Roxy sighs and steers you toward the table. There are two electronic student handbooks left, one with a sticky note with 'Jane Crocker' on it, one with 'Roxy Lalonde.'

"I guess we better find our rooms, right?" Roxy asked. "I hope we're next to each other! How cool would that be? We could have, like, sleepovers."

You wonder just how drunk she is, to be making jokes at a time like this. Still, you do grab your electronic student handbook and power it on. It flickers on and you're faced with options – it apparently also functions as your ID, and the second tab you can click on is 'Rules.'

You decide that before you figure that out, you should probably find your room. Roxy's already off, scrolling through hers as she walks and stumbling a little. You look at your ID and find that you're in room sixteen, next to Dirk and across the hall from Meulin. Roxy is four doors down, and she gives you a pout as she scans her electronic student idea and enters the room. You get the same idea.

All of your stuff is in your room. This is weird, because it's all… put away, nice and neat and in order, just like you would have done it. It's weird. But, you decide to sit down on your bed and finally read those rules.

_Hope's Peak Academy is currently functioning under __**new management.**__ The rules of graduation have been altered a bit. _

_1. In order to graduate, a student must kill another student and not let others know that they did. _

_2. There will be a brief period of investigation, and then a 'school trial' where the class must try and figured out who is the culprit._

_3. If the culprit is not found, the culprit graduates and the rest of the students are executed. _

_4. If the true culprit is found guilty, however, only the culprit is executed, and the rest of the student body can continue living their School Life of Mutual Killing. _

_As well as this, there are a few other rules. _

_5. Lights in the hallway go out at 10:00 P.M. The cafeteria will also be locked at this time. _

_6. No males are allowed in the female changing room, and vice versa. _

_7. Rooms are soundproof, but that doesn't mean that you are free to do whatever you want. We have cameras. _

You finish reading those when there's a knock on your door. Smiling a little to yourself at the wording of the last rule, you get up to answer it.

It's Cronus Ampora.

"Have you read these?" he asks, biting down hard on the end of his cigarette. You blink and just sort of watch him. "Like cameras are going to stop me from getting laid. I'd be a great pornstar."

"Uh," you say. "Why are you here?"

He blinks. "Yeah, right, you're the only one around here that's been halfway decent to me except Vantas, and I do _not _want to go to him with that problem. He'd definitely lecture me, and Porrim doesn't like me enough to pull him away. Ugh. At least I got a room between two hotties. Latula and Roxy, can you imagine? Like, wow, I'd bang either one of them."

You stand there in awkward silence, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Thankfully, Latula comes down on Mituna's skateboard a few minutes later and completely takes him out.

You take the opportunity to slip out of your room and try to find Roxy. You want to do some exploring, too – some real detective work. This should be fun.

* * *

**And here's the second chapter! The first victim should die within the next few chapters, so keep an eye out!**


	3. Chapter 3

You eventually find Roxy in the recreation room, fiddling with a gaming console. You stand there for quite a while before she notices you.

"Oh, hi Janey!" she says. "I was just trying to hook this up. It's broken, but I'm piecing it together with all these other broken ones. When we get it done, wanna join me?"

"I don't really play games," you say. "I was going to go explore and try to figure this place out."

You'd feel weird asking her, but Roxy is already proving to be a fantastic friend, because she stands up, dusts off her skirt, and sends you one of those endearing grins. "I'll come with, if you want."

"Thanks, yeah," you say, blushing a little, and she pulls you along by the waist, out of the recreation room and into the hallway.

"We should start at the pool. See if anyone decided to use it yet," Roxy says, and you blush again. You don't quite feel comfortable in a swimsuit. She apparently notices your discomfort, because she continues. "But we don't have to."

"Let's start with the library," you say, and she nods. The two of you make your way to the library, nearly getting run down by Latula once. Thankfully, Cronus Ampora is nowhere to be found.

The library is mostly empty, apart from Dirk Strider and Rufioh Nitram combing the shelves. "A shitload of shitty contemporary," Dirk mutters as you pass him. "And we can't find a single damn manga."

"Let's split up," Roxy says, and she's eyeing Dirk so intensely that you get a little uncomfortable. "I'll take D-Stri's side, you poke around over there. Unless you want some of th-"

"No thank you," you say. You're much more interested in Jake than either of those two, and you figure that if Dirk is here, then maybe Jake's nearby, too. And, from his title as Super High School Adventurer, he'd probably be in the dark, dusty corners of the library.

So, you head back there, coughing a little when you accidentally knock over a pile of books and send a cloud of dust into the air. After a coughing fit and a few sneezes, someone presents a handkerchief to you. You take it, eyes watering too much to see who it is. Once you can see who it is, however, you blush.

"I-I'll wash it and-"

"Nonsense!" Jake English says. "It wouldn't be gentlemanly of me to demand it back. I insist you keep it."

"Thanks," you say, blushing. He grins an absolutely wonderful and clueless and adorable grin at you. "Are you here with Dirk?"

"That outstanding chap? Why, yes, although he appears to have found a new buddy," Jake said. "Similar interests, and all that. Are you here with my girl Roxy?"

"Yeah," you say. You can't stop staring at his shorts. They're really. Short. And they look quite nice on him.

"Fantastic lass, she is," Jake said. You wonder how he can have all of these opinions on all of these people so quickly, then wonder if he's that naïve to think that everyone's wonderful. You certainly don't think that everyone's wonderful.

"We're looking around," you say, trying to save yourself. "Trying to figure out what's going on – oh, darn it!"

You tried to lean casually against a table but it collapsed. He makes a sound of surprise and catches you, one hand on your back, the other under your elbow.

You're fairly certain that your head is on fire.

"You should be more careful!" he said. "Wouldn't want to crack your pretty little skull open, would you?"

Your eyes go to the skull on his shirt.

"Skulls are such a fu- Dirk! Dirk! Oh for frigs flipping sake, he's not listening to me. Stay here, will you?"

With that, he hurries off. You would stay there, but you'd rather explore a little more. Find out the _real _mysteries of this school.

Unfortunately, the only thing you find is Roxy, crawling around, looking for her earring. You help her, and then she dusts herself off and pulls you toward the changing rooms. "I'm sick of all these boys, Janey, let's go swimming!"

You don't really even have time to decline. The two of you find swimsuits – you're a bit embarrassed, looking for a swimming suit with Roxy, who is so tiny you look like a whale beside her, but they are school issued swimming suits, so it's not like you're in bikinis. They're one-pieces, and stretchy, and there are lots of sizes. They accommodate for everyone, it seems.

Roxy talks even when she's naked, it seems. You're facing the wall and trying to not freak out while she just throws off her clothes and chatters on and on about how cute Jake is and how cute Dirk is and how much she's looking forward to getting that Xbox fixed and how she might invite Latula to try it out with her?

"I wonder if Meenah's here," you say. "Didn't she say she wanted to find a pool?"

"_Gawd_, I hope not," Roxy says. You agree. She tried to take the leadership position so harshly. Dirk tried to lead, too, but he's a lot… different from her, somehow.

It's almost worse than you expected. Aranea Serket is reclining at the side of the pool. Meenah was crouched on the deep end of the pool, clad in a bikini that was definitely _not _school-issued.

And, of course, Cronus Ampora is leaning against the wall outside the changing rooms, grinning even though he has a bruise forming on his collarbone. "Hello ladies," he says. Roxy ignores him. She pulls you into the pool, and you shriek a little. She laughs.

You catch Cronus out of the corner of your eye walking the perimeter of the pool, gaze flicking from Meenah to Aranea to you and Roxy. He pauses at a collection of pool noodles and other floating devices and runs his hand down one. He looks to be thinking pretty hard, actually. Then he sidles up to Meenah and puts a hand on her shoulder.

She flips him into the pool. He comes up sputtering about his hair and his cigarette and she laughs at him. You giggle a little too. Roxy's lips are curled into a sort of grimace.

"Doesn't it suck that all total assholes are hot?" she asks. You study Cronus. He's no Jake. Or even Dirk, who you have to admit has muscle. But Cronus is… he's fairly attractive, you'd say. Not right now, with his hair falling out of its pompadour and face spotty red, and he's unimpressively scrawny, but you guess…

"Don't tell me you like him."

"Oh God no," Roxy says. "I'm very committed to the idea of me and Dirky in a relationship. Even though he's totally setting off my gaydar. Which sucks. Hot guys are always assholes or gay."

You laugh a little when the Caliborn puppet pops out of nowhere. "You guys," it enunciates clearly. "Need to get out of the pool so you can see your first motive."

Roxy helps you out of the pool and he hands the both of you an envelope. Then he disappears. You open the envelope and peer inside.

It's just… a picture. On the back is a note from Calliope, written in a swirly script.

_Hello dearie!_

_ I wouldn't let him do a horrible thing for your first motive! Hopefully this won't drive any of you to murder, even if they are released to the public!_

_ Callie~_

It's an embarrassing picture, sure, but it's just twelve-year-old you pulling a face, with zits and braces and an unflattering outfit. Nothing you'd kill anyone over, even if you were embarrassed that they were released.

Beside you, Roxy snorts. "Wow," she said. "This is even kind of cute. Look."

She pushes her picture into your hands. It's a twelve-year-old Roxy, all skin and bones looking all snobby in a Ravenclaw scarf. "Harry Potter?" you say. She grins and nods.

"I think it's twelve-year-old picture day," she said.

"Hey, where'd Toolscar go?"

"Toolscar?" Roxy says.

"Ampora. I heard him call himself Dualscar, because of those weird things on his head," Meenah said. You glance around. Yeah, no sign of Cronus anywhere.

Huh.

* * *

**With Calliope there, motives probably won't get bad for a while. Because she still has **_**some **_**control.**


End file.
